Posts tagged ‘Anger’

November 2, 2012

Kinds of thinking that can poison a marriage

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

Thoughts of being an innocent victim or of righteous indignation are typical of partners in troubled marriages, continually fuelling anger and hurt.

Once distressing thoughts such as righteous indignation become automatic, they are self-confirming: the partner who feels victimized is constantly scanning everything his partner does that might confirm the view that she is victimizing him, ignoring or discounting any acts of kindness on her part that would question or disconfirm that view.

These thoughts are

November 2, 2012

Advice. What protects a marriage?

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

Given the grim potential outcome of the differences in how men and women deal with distressing feelings in their relationship, what can couples do to protect the love and affection they feel for each other.

One the basis of watching interaction in the couples whose marriage have continued to thrive over the years, marital researchers offer specific advice for men and for women, and some general words for both.

Men and Women, in general, need different emotional fine-tuning.

For men, the advice is not to sidestep conflict, but to realize that when their wife brings up some grievance or disagreement, she may be doing it as an act of love, trying to keep the relationship healthy and on course (although there may well be other motives for a wife’s hostility). When

October 31, 2012

On the road to divorce! (danger signs)

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

Habitual criticism and contempt or disgust are danger signs because they indicate that a husband or wife has made a silent judgement for the worse about their partner.

In his or her thoughts, the spouse is the subject of constant condemnation. Such negative and hostile thinking leads naturally to attacks that make the partner on the receiving and defensive – or ready to counterattack in return.

October 27, 2012

The best way to handle anger: “Don’t suppress it. But don’t act on it.

(Catharsis) It Makes You Feel Better…! Really?
To answer this Question, read the following short story and the following facts ;)

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

[As I settle into a New York City cab, a young man crossing the street stops in front of the cab to wait for traffic to clear. The driver, impatient to start, honks, motioning for the young man to move out of the way. The reply is a scowl and an obscene gesture.

“You son of a bitch!” the driver yells, making

October 27, 2012

Reframing a situation more positively is one of the most potent ways to put anger to rest

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

The train of angry thoughts that stokes anger is potentially the key to one of the most powerful ways to defuse anger: undermining the convictions that are fueling the anger in the first place. The longer we

October 27, 2012

Contrast that sequence of building rage with a more charitable line of thought

Daniel Goleman has mentioned in his book “Emotional Intelligence

Say someone in another car cuts dangerously close to you as you are driving on the freeway. If your reflexive thought is “That son of a bitch!” it matters

April 3, 2012

Sometimes we manufacture anger…

“Sometimes we manufacture anger to give ourselves the illusion of power when we feel weak and helpless”

March 1, 2012

Holding anger is a poison

“Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves” ~ Mitch Albom

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